Everyone just wants to matter. We want to matter to someone. We want to know that our life has purpose and that people see us and remember us.
I’ve been feeling forgotten lately. So, yeah. Everyone feels like that, I think, from time to time and in different seasons of life. And it’s really easy to get caught up in the me-ness of it. Kind of absorbed with thinking about yourself and how you fit into the puzzle of everyone else’s life. Or how you don’t. And it can be pretty painful. Like, cry-at-your-desk painful.
So that’s the season I’m in. The alone season. I don’t think I need to describe it. I think most people are pretty acutely aware of what the wave of lonely feels like when it slowly seeps through the cracks in the floorboards of your life.
So, naturally, I immersed myself in trying to figure out why I’m lonely and how to fix it. Because that’s obviously the objective when you’re feeling the lonesome blues. Where’ the get-out-of-jail-free card? Yep. You name it, I Googled it:
…Why is it hard to find community after college?
…Why do friendships fail?
…Godly perspectives on loneliness. [ha! I did actually type that out with my own fingers.]
Okay. Super healthy way to deal, right? Google has all the answers. [croak.]
And then I stumbled upon this video of a woman who talked about being alone so beautifully and eloquently I literally cried at my desk. Again.
“The thing that heals more than anything is for someone to see us. And to say that we are not forgotten. In Heaven’s economy nothing is wasted, nothing is forgotten, nothing is lost. and nothing is broken that won’t be healed. no tear will not be wiped away. And even if those things are part of the Not Yet of the Kingdom of God, that is what we are moving toward. And that is what we are called to as the people of God. …grabbing hands and looking people in the face and saying, ‘You are NOT FORGOTTEN because I SEE YOU.'”
I was almost embarrassed at how absorbed I’d been in my own lamenting. The ME-ness of it all. How unattractive I’ve been. But at the same time, how sometimes we just need to be thought of… to be seen or remembered. Because “sometimes all we’re longing for is for someone to see us.”
But if I, being fully aware of my worth as a daughter of God, could find myself this frustrated and weary, how much more is the loneliness of the sons and daughters who find themselves truly alone? Without a Savior. Without a King. Without a Friend. Oh, hello. Where was my perspective?
I don’t think it’s wrong to feel the weight of loneliness. And to feel sadness for the situations that may have lead to the state of being alone. But I did feel a little nudge to just consider:
WHY might I be in a season of distance? of quiet? of separation?
Might it be, perhaps, to really take this time of quiet to SEE others? To find them. And look in their eyes and remind them that they are seen, and loved, and cared for? And that they matter. Guys. We MATTER. In the social circles of Heaven, you belong, you matter, and you are important. I pray from this day forward that you would feel that here on Earth. That as the hands and feet of God on this planet, you feel me squeezing hands, grabbing faces, and calling, hugging, and remembering you.
In one of the blogs I read this week, a woman described herself as third. I’ve heard second, but never third.
God first. Others second. …Me, third.
That. That resonates with my soul.
Praying that truth into my life and yours today. And the fervent prayer that you remember just how much you actually do, totally, really, matter.